Alphabet of Sadism and Sukonbu: Brash
by Zack Clyde Von Crisst
Summary: Kaizer Sougo Okita panicked when he saw the early symptoms of pregnancy. What did he do? He kidnapped the Yato warrior, off course. He swore he would rip whoever impregnated the female and vowed that no one will ever do that again. Little did he know that Kagura was only having a brash.


Brash: Noun. A transient attack of sickness, especially one arising from a disordered stomach.

* * *

Setting: Two years after arc. Kagura is aged 17 or 18 while Okita is 21 or 22.

Kaizer Sougo Okita panicked when he saw the early symptoms of pregnancy. What did he do? He kidnapped the Yato warrior, off course.

He swore he would rip whoever impregnated the female and vowed that no one will ever do that again. Little did he know that Kagura was only having a brash.

* * *

Kagura staggered out of Otae's house with a white plastic thing in her hand. Her face was paler than usual, her body shivered and her expression was that of a scarred puppy.

"What's gotten in to you?" Okita asked when the female leaned on the giant dog. Sadaharu growled as the male walked towards its owner.

"Nothing," the red head replied. Her face turned green and immediately puked her guts out.

Sadaharu stepped closer to Kagura to balance the female. Okita also moved closer. He took hold of the female's hair out of Kagura's face and rubbed her back.

Once the Yato was done, her body slumped on her dog. "Thanks, Sougo. I'll be heading back now," she stated and let Sadaharu carry her towards the Yurozuya Headquarters.

Okita, being trained to examine every detail of the female before he started walking again. "Hmm, I wonder what has gotten… oh shit!" When the Kaizer got to his compound, he immediately gave everyone a mission.

"Kagura, what happened to you?" Gintoki asked, munching on the treats that the female was supposed to eat.

The female groaned. "Otae-nii and that gorilla she calls a husband forced me to eat their food."

Gin shuddered just by thinking about it. "Well, go and hog my room. That would take days to remove from your system."

Kagura nodded and went to the only room in the office. Once her head hit the pillow, her senses went blank.

The white haired male was still munching on the food when ten Shinsengumi officers appeared inside the living room. The saiyan stood in shock as a bazooka was pointed at him. "Where is the female name Kagura?" one of the policemen asked.

Raising a brow in confusion, Gin pointed at his room. "What's going on?" he demanded, calculating a possible way to grab the sleeping Yato and dash out of the house without being blown to bits.

The loud mouthed Yamazaki barged inside the said room and scanned the area. He smirked when his eyes landed on the lump on the bed. Without a word, he grabbed the female then walked out.

"Oi!" Gin called out. He ignored the bazooka and blocked Yamazaki's way.

The badminton addict twitched. "Oi, I don't want Kaizer to be mad at me!" he yelled. "He wants China on the Shinsengumi compound before sundown!"

The white haired male covered his ears. "She's sick, you idiot."

"Kaizer told us that the compound will be treating this female."

"If something happens to her I will personally rip you to shreds."

The black haired man gulped but nodded, putting on a straight face. Gin's deadly pink eyes glared at him for man-handling the female. Yamazaki stepped back and carried Kagura in a gentler way.

Sougo stared at the sleeping female on his bed. He commanded everyone to go on patrol, leaving only Hijikata and himself.

The Mayora sighed. "Are you serious that the China lady is having a child?" he demanded.

"She had all the signs of early pregnancy, Hijikata-san," the brown haired male answered.

Stepping back out of impulse, Hijikata shook his head. "Just ask her what's wrong," he advised.

Okita shook his head. "It will be a very sensitive topic for her."

"If you won't ask I will then," the black haired former vice-commander murmured and sat on the chair near the bed.

Sougo nodded. "I will be out for a while. Please take care of her."

After twenty minutes, the red head stirred and opened her eyes. Instead of the white painted ceiling she was used to; cream colored ceiling was what she saw. Abruptly sitting up, her head spun like hell and she gave a loud groan.

"You okay, China?" Hijikata's voice asked in concern.

"Where am I?" the red head asked as she rubbed her aching head.

"In Sougo's room."

"Why the hell am I at the sadist's torture chamber?" the female groaned. "Dammit, I need water."

Hijikata handed a glass of water to the red head. "Are you pregnant?" he suddenly asked.

Kagura almost choked at the liquid she was drinking. She accidentally sprayed water on the cigarette loving police. "What?" she demanded.

Removing the water off of his face, Hijikata repeated his question.

The red head shook her head. "Why would I get pregnant?"

Hijikata shrugged. "Maybe the male population finally opened their eyes and impregnated you."

Kagura chuckled. ""I only got a stomach ache." She then turned green again. "Bathroom."

Hijikata panicked and carried the female. He dashed out of Okita's room and headed for the comfort room that was located at next to the mess hall.

The Kaizer was finished with his work and was walking towards his room when Kagura, in Hijikata's arms, zoomed past him then closing the door to the bathroom. Concern immediately gripped the former sadist's heart. "What happened, Hijikata-san?" he called out.

"China lady is puking," came the reply behind the door.

"Morning sickness," the red eyed young man murmured to himself. "It's not even morning."

"I heard that, sadist. For your information, I am not pregnant!"

"Yeah, yeah. I know you're lying, China."

"I am not~! Blagh!"

"Hijikata-san, please open the door. I will personally see to it that China is okay."

Giving in to his superior's request, even though it is still awkward for Hijikata, he opened the door and stepped out. He glanced at the figure in red before bringing a cigar out. "All yours then," he stated, giving up the notion to explain everything to Okita.

The sandy haired man nodded and stepped inside. "You finished, China?" he asked.

The red head raised a hand then retched again. With that finished, she took a tissue then wiped her lips. "Finished," she muttered weakly.

Kaizer Okita nodded then carried her bridal style back to his room. "Who's the father, China?" he asked mildly.

"I'm not pregnant, sadist," the female huffed. She crossed her arms over her chest when the brown haired male placed her, gently, on the bed.

Okita gave the female another glass of water. "Stop saying that, China. Who is the basta~male who got you impregnated?"

Taking a sip, she made a face. "I am not~!"

"Is it Glasses-san?" he interrupted. He stood up and went towards the door. He started instructing the person outside something before closing the door again. "Well?" he asked.

Kagura turned red. She then shook her head frantically. "N-No!" she blurted out.

"Was it Hijikata-san?"

"What? No!"

"It's Hijikata-san, isn't it?"

"Why would I get in a bed with him?" the already red female defended.

Okita was already back at the door, again instructing someone outside.

Kagura, curious as to why her rival keeps walking back to the door, got out of bed and staggered towards him. Alarmed with concern, Okita stepped closer to the red head and held her waist. "Sadist, I can stand on my own," she stated.

"You should get back to the bed, China."

"Who are you talking to at the door?" the female asked.

Okita brushed the question off as he dragged the female back to the bed. "Stay," the Kaizer muttered. "Are you hungry?"

"Off course I am," the female answered without thinking.

"While we are waiting for the food to come, will you tell me who your mate is."

Kagura groaned. "Why won't you believe me?"

The two started a verbal fight with Kagura screaming her lungs out while Okita calmly, persistently, asked who the 'father' of the child. In the middle of their heated argument, Yamazaki kicked open the door. "Kaizer," the black haired officer yelled as he dumped both Hijikata and Sinpachi on the floor. "The two you requested."

Blinking stupidly, Kagura automatically got up from her position and went to Glasses-kun. "Sinpachi-kun," she gasped.

"What's going on, Sougo?" Hijikata demanded. The reply he got was a katana pointing at his throat. Looking up, he saw Okita with the poker face he was used to. For some reason, this relieved the mayonnaise addict.

"Are you crazy?" the Yato shrieked as he helped the spectacled male stand up. "Why would you point your weapon on your best friend?"

"If this piece of trash is the reason why you are having a child, I would gladly rid of him from this earth."

"For Koenma's sake, sadist, I am not pregnant!"

The Katana was then pointed at Sinpachi. "Are you protecting Glasses-san because he is the real father?"

Getting fed up from the 'father' thing Okita keeps mentioning, Kagura took a deep breath. "GIN-CHAN!" she yelled.

"So, it was Danna after all." Okita sheathed his weapon and was about to walk out when a flash of white suddenly appeared.

"What are you doing to my daughter?" Gin demanded as he shook Yamazaki's body violently. "I told you that you shouldn't hurt her!"

"Danna, are you the child's father?" Sougo asked.

The saiyan dropped the badminton addict and started picking his nose in an offhand manner. "I am her father, you idiot. Who else could handle that monster of a girl?"

Kagura shook her head in frustration. "You don't understand the question!" she shouted

"I don't have to!" the white haired male yelled back.

Okita's head bowed, covering his garnet colored eyes. "You did that to her?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"Did what to whom?" Gin asked.

Prying his weapon of its scarab, Okita blindly attacked. The white haired male was surprised but did what he could to ward off the angry Kaizer.

The two had an epic battle, destroying almost half of the Shinsengumi headquarters. Kagura was busy protecting everyone to interfere with the two. After about an hour or so, dust clouded both the combatants but only one was left standing. Surprisingly, it was the sandy haired Kaizer who won.

"What is wrong with you, sadist?" Kagura demanded as she stepped in front of the young man and slapped him. "Why are you so~!"

"Listen, Kagura," Okita murmured as he grabbed both the female's wrist. "You are not allowed go near those jerks. You are not going to talk to them, make eye contact with them or even be in the same vicinity as them."

The red head was surprised when the sadist called her name. "Listen here, sadist. As I told you before~oi!"

Okita once again interrupted his rival by pulling his rival and hugged her. He always wanted to that to the person in his arms for so long now. "I am going to be that child's adopted father after I kill its biological father," he stated.

Kagura placed her finger on Okita's mouth. "One, I am not pregnant," she stated, still shocked from the experience she just went through. "Two, we could go to a doctor and let him tell you that I am right. Three, you theories are very wrong in so many levels," she stated and laid her now throbbing head on his shoulder. "And four, I will not touch any man except you." She kissed the male on the lips before her consciousness left her as her body limped on Okita's arms.

A sigh escaped the brown haired human. "Fine," he murmured as he carried the love of his life down the rubble they were standing on. He then went back to the super-ultimate sadist he was as he kicked both Gin and Hijikata to wake them up. "Oi, explain to me why China is like this."

Hijikata sighed. Gin groaned. "Stomach ache," they stated in unison.

"Kagura was forced to eat the Gorilla woman's eggs," the perm explained.

Okita shuddered automatically. He then gave a curt nod before kicking them again to unconsciousness.

Kaizer Okita Sougo staggered out of the Shimura residence with a look of mortification etched on face. Once he was near the river, he fell face first on the grass and slid down to the bank of the river.

Kagura walked towards his body and knelt beside him. "Well, sadist," she started, handing a bottle of water to the policeman.

"Never will I go back there," Okita mumbled.

"Now do you know why I was sick a few days ago?"

"How could you tolerate that poison?"

Kagura shrugged. "I'm an amanto remember.

With his remaining strength, he turned so that he could see his rival smirking rival. "Could you force drink me," he requested.

"You want me to shove the bottle in your throat?" Kagura asked in surprise.

"No," Okita groaned. "Open the damn bottle then drink some water. Don't swallow," he instructed.

Kagura shrugged and did what she was asked to do. She gave a 'now what?' look at her sandy haired companion.

"Come closer."

She did that. To her surprise, her head was pulled down and her lips crashing to his. She gasped in shock and the water she was holding in her mouth trickled out, to Okita's mouth. When all the water was transferred, she reeled back and landed on her back. "The hell, sadist?" she half shrieked.

"I want more."

"Fuck, no!"

"You are going to let me die then? After all the things I have done to you."

Kagura thought it over and sighed in defeat. She again took the bottle and drank half off it. She closed her eyes and slammed her lips to his, almost bruising her own lips.

"Hmm I think having a brash isn't that bad," Okita thought as Kagura tried everything to cover her reddening face.

* * *

I don't even know… I tried but failed.

Notes: Sougo was referring to Kagura's 'child' while Gintoki was thinking it was Kagura.


End file.
